A Conversation with Your Teen

Teenagers frequently fear their parents’ disapproval, while wanting to protect their own independence. A teen's sense of invincibility often prevents them from totally honest communication. Keeping this in mind, parents get a more realistic picture of their teen's life.

Have you asked your teen whether he/she uses drugs? It is important how you pose the question, but the question needs to be asked.

Find a quiet, private place to have a conversation:

"I have something to tell you that you may not want to hear, but I need to say it because it has been concerning me and I love you. It bothers me that recently things seem to be different between us. You appear edgy and have more of a negative attitude more of the time. I realize that upon entering high school there are different pressures that are often difficult to deal with and to understand. I also know that feeling pressure often affects people's judgements and choices. I wonder if some of the choices you have made include alcohol or other drug use?"

The best way of communicating is to express how you feel in a non-confrontational way (using "I" statements rather than "look what you did!"). This allows you to state how you see the situation without making the child more defensive.

Example:

"It upsets me to have found what appears to be a marijuana pipe in your pants pocket when I was doing your laundry."